Feeling scared today. Had a liver ultrasound this morning. Nothing to worry about apparently. My blood sugars were a bit off I think. The clinical nurse carrying out the procedure seemed happy enough and a bit surprised I was getting it done. There is a tiny little cist but it’s not a cancerous growth (as far as I can tell), it’s just some damage from a party lifestyle in my 20s I guess. The Prof must have wanted it checked out. Still though, I shit myself and panic and think I’m fucked.
Had lunch across in the Merrion Inn with my brother who is a fucking great brother, the best you could wish for. He reassured me and told me it’s ok to be afraid and to show it (We had a hard Dad who expressed his fear and sadness through the medium of anger).
I felt a lot better after talking with him. Also I’m on day leave over the weekend (sounds like the mentlers getting out for the day). So hair cut tomorrow and a long walk. Lunch with some friends. Then on Sunday, lunch with family and then the All Ireland Hurling final on the couch.
None of my friends or family actually know I’m blogging. I think they may stumble across it by chance. I didn’t want loads of people I know posting on it, a bit like a comedian performing to his friends.
Jesus, this is some dose of a post to stumble on first time here.
All the very best to you!
I shit myself a lot. Life can be scarey sometimes. Fear and anxiety are natural respnses, logically, it’s when when we try to act fucking brave, that’s where it starts to hurt. ( look you know what I mean)
Jeez. HM, cut yourself some slack and ball your eyes out if you feel like like it.
There’s a hundred other fuckers in there equally as scared as you are, if not more so, they’re just not showing either. Have a chat and mooch around for kindred spirits, maybe.
Best of luck. it’ll be a memory come Novemer.
Have you decided on the business/travel thing yet?
Thanks Sniffle. When I get out of here I’ll make that decision. A bit of both I think.
The scaries! I wish I had some helpful perspective, but I don’t. Take rescue remedy a lot. Thinking of you.
Feeling much better about things today. I escaped to the outside world for the day.
I’m in a new ward with four old guys in their 80s. They’re funny and not a moan out of them. They welcomed me to the club! I tried to give them some Tropicana orange juice this morning and they said it would neutralise their heart medicine but that whiskey wouldn’t. They love the racing, swimming at the half moon club at the south wall and nice looking nurses. They’re gentlemen.
You’re lucky to have decent company in there. Nice to be reminded that not all elderly people are miserable gits.
I don’t think anyone really thinks that, do they Boggle? Are you elderly? Or a miserable git?
Jo, you and your faith in the human race…!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs_Brady_the_Old_Lady
I’m rather new to this whole interweb thing, and I’m not sure that this is the correct etiquett, but I would like to say the following:
snifflecry +1
which I understand means “I like that comment”.
sp: Oh bugger, ETIQUETTE dammit.
One of the old guys is a bit senile I discovered. He gets confused easily. He thought he was up before he went to bed! He also gets mixed up between my own area and his.