RTE needs to creative the fuck up

 

Closedown at D4

I’m cleaning rotten vegetables off the TV screen this morning. Last night’s RTE was absolutely shite. There was an inane, incomprehensible mish mash of unlikely talking heads, clearly reading scripted lines in response to mundane clips of TV from 2008. But some of the clips were dubbed over and it wasn’t even funny, at all. I mean weatherwomen Evelyn Cusack and some other one were two of the talking heads? It’s as if it was made in a hurry by a junior producer while being chased by a pack of rabid wild dogs. I wonder what Hilary Fannin has to say about it.

Then there was even shiter Ryan Rubbery who for once didn’t wear a suit on TV but still couldn’t bear to lose the sports jacket. He was having real difficulty managing the timings in the run up to midnight. He had that cunt Brendan O’Connor on and the word grinding machine, George Hook (who I quite like actually). And some unknown black haired woman who needed a bullet in head. I only watched it for about three minutes in disbelief at how appalling it was.

Clearly RTE has boarded itself up in south east Dublin and is now feeding on itself like the stomach of a starving man. It’s live entertainment is totally lacking in originality and creativity. Over the last few years, they depended on bling, celebrity chefs, celebrity landscapers, celebrity solicitors, celebrity carpenters, celebrity sports journos, celebrity accountants, celebrity accountants. They still have Gerry Ryan eating while talking about womens knickers on Radio 2 and generally getting more pathetic as the years stick to him. They still open Dave Fanning’s box and throw a microphone in for a half and hour and make sense of it later. I think RTE forgot that there are about another three and half million people outside south Dublin. All the nice girlies and boys we see and hear on RTE were born within a short skinny latte walk of the 46A bus route. Some of them can’t even pronounce Caherciveen or tell you where it is. All of Ryan Rubberys radio guests seem to be from his college frat house. He himself comes across as a Christian right wing intellectual snob who wallows in the smugness of his upbringing. I fail to see how his show can appeal to a whole country, both urban and rural. How on earth can a woman in her 40s with a couple of children in rural Roscommon relate to some SUV driving PR whore bleating on about the Dundrum shopping like it’s important or some side parted graduate from Donnybrook warbling on about his internship with a conservative republican political candidate in Washington DC while Rubbery strokes his little pencil?

Well things will start to change soon because I heard that their beloved Donnybrook, D4 site is up for sale and RTE is moving on. Wouldn’t it be so sweet to see them out in some industrial park in West Dublin, maybe stick a 2 in front of that 4. They’ll all be given a Garmin to find their new work place and of course the nearest coffee shop (Spar deli).